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Friday, January 8, 2010

Recap: Jersey Shore, Episode 6
Mini-review: In which the housemates get into multiple fights, and Ronnie and Sammi set an unofficial record for almost-breakups in a televised hour.

Recap: Before we get to the recap, a couple things I learned today: 1) Mike “The Situation” has said that MTV wants the same cast back for Jersey Shore 2, which would tape next summer in lovely Seaside Heights, N.J. Given the boffo ratings and publicity (even if much of it is negative), there’s no surprise in a Season 2. The return cast would be a bit of a curveball, as MTV was expected to bring in eight new tanned, tattooed, party-goers of Italian-American descent with little in the way of job prospects. I admit I liked the suggestion of columnist Bill Simmons, who said the Season 1 cast could be transplanted to someplace like Malibu for Season 2, to ensure they would remain weird outcasts. 2) Mike, Pauly D, Snooki and Jenni are presently charging $7,500 as appearance fees at parties and social events. Vinny is only charging $3K, which seems about right given his lack of tattoos, implants or tendency to say really stupid things. Interestingly, Ronnie and Sammi are a steal at $3,500 for the lovestruck pair. But then again that’s a lot of money to pay two people to sit in a corner by themselves and make out.

On to Episode 6: We begin with the comical, and yet frightening, discovery that Ronnie and Mike have settled into a daily morning routine they describe as “gym, tan, laundry.” Vinny, who is neither tanned nor very muscled, is properly amused by this. “This is how we build the guidos,” he says. Mike proudly refers to the routine as “GTL.” He continues to not realize that he sounds like an ass.

Guess what they decide to do later? They go to a bar! The slight wrinkle is that Mike’s younger sister Melissa has been invited. Vinny is intrigued. This will not end well. Non-wrinkle is that Ronnie and Sammi decide to head home together. Cut to shots of housemates tsk-tsking the young lovers for being such killjoys. But … wait! Banter in the taxi leads to disaster when Ronnie makes a crack about Sammi’s big toe. Apparently she is VERY sensitive about her feet. A chill descends over the taxi, and the couple fire f-bombs at each other. Frankly, the guys who handle the bleeping duties have had an easy night so far so good to get them some work.

An aside: Do all the guys in this show wear bejewelled t-shirts? Where does one even get such a shirt?

Tragically for fans of young romance, Ronnie and Sammi are unable to mend fences. Ronnie wants to go back out and “creep,” which I think means hit on women. (Note: I am 36, and thus not “down” with the kids’ “lingo.” Woot. Ahem.) The creeping does not take, however, and Ronnie is soon back to patch things up. Young love blooms again.

Some girls then show up at the house. One who was invited by Mike – I just can’t call him The Situation – and two of her friends, who he charmingly calls fat. Snooki then displays her remarkable ability to irritate people, leading to a near-fight with the female visitors. Actually, check that. It’s a full-on fight. Snooki is punched again. A pattern developing? Fortunately, she seems OK, although annoyed at Mike. Line of the night: “You aren’t supposed to be here! You aren’t even Italian!”

The next night, back to a bar. Snooki is again dismayed that Ronnie and Sammi are hanging out quietly rather than dancing. They are dismayed that she keeps harping on them. They leave, but as they do, a guy who perhaps is annoyed at the presence of TV cameras in little old Seaside starts to follow the pair of them. And hollering at them. Sammi eggs the guy on, which eventually leads to a Ronnie-administered beat down. On the plus side, he is not wearing a bejewelled shirt, so no one is accidentally scratched as they roll around on the boardwalk.

The aftermath is messy. For a moment it appears Ronnie and Sammi are doomed - he is mad at her for provoking the fight; she is mad at him for stomping off afterward - but once again they smooth things over. Like a zombie, this relationship cannot be easily killed.

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